you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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