dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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