we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize