I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
