he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What drink are we having for lunch?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
