I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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