Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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