You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
