soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
