I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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