You can't motorboat a personality
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
