Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
