there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like heaven, but drunker
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
