PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i barfeds in our rink
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
