Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
