How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
