The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
foreskin is a definite game changer
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
