Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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