I'm so fucking centered right now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
