please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
