Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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