Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
