Please, let me fuck your mom
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
