cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We need to get me chipped asap
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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