I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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