I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
