I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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