i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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