I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
