does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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