I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
