You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's get the cat blown out
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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