I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
