IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
