Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
