Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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