idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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