he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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