Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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