If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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