did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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