the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
