I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
