Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
