Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
