We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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