i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
