I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
