We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
MIDGETS
????
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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