So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
