i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
