wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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