Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
