I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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