im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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