Jerry, you need to find god
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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