Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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