Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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