im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
