trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
