You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
