I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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